Tuesday, June 19, 2007

A Bigger Dose of Prophesy

I ended up in the prophesy room today, after all. It was a combination of creepy and boring. So, in most of the ways that count, it was just like reading the Bible . . . which far worse spelling and grammar. I copied down three of the very underwhelming "prophesies". Before the first prophesy, there was literally around forty minutes of people praising Jesus. It was very tedious. It went something like this:

[19:34] we worship you Lord
[19:34] YOU ALONE
[19:34] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> lord god almighty
[19:34] it is all about YOU
[19:34] U r soooooooo worthy
[19:34] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> heaven and earth
[19:34] of our praises
[19:34] Jesus

Imagine that for forty minutes, now. My guess is that they were trying to whip themselves up into enough of a frenzy not to feel stupid with their prophesies. I'm going to give you the ones I got. I'm not going to alter them at all. I decided that the disjointed nature, with the interruptions of various praises, is an integral part of the prophesy. After the prophesy, I'm going to make a few comments and then move on.

[19:36] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> Tiffany go please
[19:36] thankyou...
[19:36] as I was seeking the Lord just now I saw a vision...
[19:37] * Gayle (JavaUser@AC932872.ipt.aol.com) has joined #prophetic-school
[19:37] and in the vision I saw a green field...
[19:37] with many hills...
[19:37] * HeavenlyTreasure (HT@S010600104c136565.ed.shawcable.net) has joined #prophetic-school
[19:37] and spread throughout this field...
[19:37] I saw crosses laying everywhere....
[19:37] looked as though they had been abandoned...
[19:37] and I saw a company of eagles flying overhead...
[19:37] observing the situation...
[19:37] calling out...
[19:37] and seeking out...
[19:37] * erica (JavaUser@adsl-243-202-226.cae.bellsouth.net) Quit ( QUIT: User exited )
[19:37] those who would come and carry those crosses
[19:38] and as the cries were heard loud and strong...
[19:38] I saw people....
[19:38] numerous people...
[19:38] as far as the eye could see...
[19:38] coming out from under rocks...
[19:38] out from hiding...
[19:38] they come out from the valleys...
[19:38] came from the mountains...
[19:38] some looked weary...
[19:38] some looked beaten...
[19:38] and some were obviously in the midst of the battle...
[19:39] ??
[19:39] and each one had slowly walked up to a cross...
[19:39] through it on their shoulders...
[19:39] and began walking....
[19:39] for this night declares the Lord...
[19:39] even this very night...
[19:39] My call is going out...
[19:39] My call is being heard.....
[19:39] calling out to all who has an ear to hear....
[19:39] come out from among them
[19:39] \o/
[19:39] and be ye separate....
[19:39] Thank u Jesus /PTL \o/
[19:40] take up your crosses....
[19:40] take up your crosses...
[19:40] and resume your positions....
[19:40] the time is now....
[19:40] the past is over....
[19:40] do not look behind...
[19:40] look only ahead...
[19:40] and as you step up to your posts...
[19:40] step up to your positions....
[19:40] the past will soon
[19:40] become a distant memory...
[19:40] * michael_calif1 (JavaUser@cpe-75-85-230-59.bak.res.rr.com) has joined #prophetic-school
[19:40] \o/
[19:40] for where there was mourning...
[19:40] I am giving joy....
[19:41] where there was sorrow....
[19:41] rejoicing....
[19:41] weeping... laughter....
[19:41] Thank u Jesus
[19:41] for I am restoring you
[19:41] I am rebuilding you
[19:41] \o/
[19:41] I am rebirthing within you
[19:37] calling out...
[19:37] and seeking out...
[19:41] that ministry that I placed within you
[19:41] years ago....
[19:41] come up higher my dear children
[19:41] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> yes lord
[19:41] my servants, and my warriors....
[19:41] and as you do.....
[19:41] you shall see the salvation of the Lord!
[19:41] done
[19:41] \o/
[19:42] \o/\o/\o/
[19:42] thank you Jesus
[19:42] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> Amen!!! Thank you, Tiffany God bless you
[19:42] hallelujah
[19:42] hallelujah
[19:42] Amen, Praise the LORD
[19:42] Praise His Name
[19:42] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> anymore words 4 the room?
[19:42] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> o/tag
[19:42] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> for i ur god

As "prophesies" go, this one feels pretty contrived, without the least little bit of evocative imagery. I mean, really! Crosses scattered around and people go up to them pointing to ministry? What I do think is interesting is the persecution complex that seems built into religion. I think I just realized that a persecution complex is built into Christianity. What distinguishes Jesus is precisely his persecution. So here you've got these reasonably well-off (well-off enough to have computers and Internet connections, which most of the world simply can't afford) and their minds are filled with this apocalyptic imagery with themselves as the suffers in a hostile world . . . when they're amongst the most privileged group of people who have ever lived.

Unfortunately, it isn't close to being prophesy, even if it was a vision. Which I doubt it was, more like a prose poem. But, onwards!

[19:48] I saw the Lord placing in the hands of many of you hear tonight....
[19:48] a jewel.....
[19:48] and others a coal....
[19:48] for there are those of you who are called to carry his treasure as a jewel.....
[19:49] and from you will flow secret treasures.....
[19:49] healing....
[19:49] comfort.....
[19:49] edification.....
[19:49] encouragement.....
[19:49] the My people.....
[19:49] you shall take this jewel
[19:49] into a lost and dying world...
[19:49] and bring hope to the hopeless
[19:49] rest to the weary
[19:50] and for those who received the coals....
[19:50] behold you are my prophets...
[19:50] * cityofgold (JavaUser@213-180-30.netrunf.cytanet.com.cy) has joined #prophetic-school
[19:50] you are called to speak forth My word....
[19:50] and carry My word as a sword...
[19:50] for as you open your mouths to speak
[19:50] My word will flow forth as a mighty sword....
[19:50] and you shall teach others to use their sword.....
[19:50] * preciouspearl (JavaUser@dialup-4.239.102.233.Dial1.Philadelphia1.Level3. net) has joined #prophetic-school
[19:50] you shall instruct, direct, and correct....
[19:50] for a fire shall fill you
[19:51] and spread to all those around you...
[19:51] a flaming sword shall you possess....
[19:51] You shall speak my word with clarity....
[19:51] You shall speak my word with sharpness...
[19:51] and you shall set the captives free!
[19:51] each of you are called....
[19:51] \o/
[19:51] every one of you are called....
[19:51] listen not to the lies of man
[19:52] or the lies of the enemy
[19:52] AMen
[19:52] o/ testimony that sort of goes along with the words
[19:52] who would try to stop My servants
[19:52] from speaking forth my Word....
[19:52] and I saw to you this night
[19:52] even declare
[19:52] that you are MY servants
[19:52] called by My name....
[19:52] who is man to stand in the way
[19:52] * Guest35202 is now known as ConsidertheLily
[19:52] who is man to contradict what I have spoken over your lives....
[19:52] you can't figure it out...
[19:52] you will not understand the call
[19:53] or the responsibility I have placed within you
[19:53] but as you rise up and walk in that which I have called you to walk....
[19:53] your understanding will be made clear
[19:53] step by step
[19:53] line upon line
[19:53] precept upon precept....
[19:53] do not hesitate
[19:53] once I have spoken....
[19:53] you know My voice...
[19:53] \o/
[19:53] hearken this day
[19:53] \o/
[19:53] to the voice of the Lord
[19:53] done
[19:53] o/heavenlytreasure
[19:53] * Guest56420 (JavaUser@mctnnbsa30w-156034037238.nb.aliant.net) has left #prophetic-school
[19:53] Jesus, Jesus, glorryyyy
[19:54] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> Amen!!! Thank you, Tiffany God bless you
[19:54] Thank u Jesus
[19:54] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> wonderful jesus
[19:54] yessss

Again, this isn't prophesy, really. It's not predicting or foretelling anything. But what struck me, here, is the symbols used. First, the symbols of wealth, pearls and jewels. We'll see them again, too. It is interesting for as poor a person as Jesus seemed to be, and that he was quite critical of material wealth, one of the most common Christians symbols are those of riches. Second, the symbol of the sword. After all that Christianity is supposed to be a religion of poverty and peace, there's a lot of talk about swords!

But, again, I find myself filled with disappointment. The imagery and message are tedious. I mean, the deep wisdom of this prophesy is that some people are called to do good deeds in the name of the Christian god? Not precisely a thrilling new message, there.

[19:54] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> shepherd go please
[19:54] I had this remarkable 3+ hour vision this evening. I only came out of it about 20 minutes ago. The glory is still partly on me.
[19:54] One of the things that happened in the vision was that I got to meet Moses and I asked him how he was able to trust God in all those situations
[19:55] he said he would show me
[19:55] then he took me by the hand and brought me to the tabrinacle
[19:55] and he told me that the glory of the Lord would meet us there.
[19:55] At first I was very mindful of Moses--he is one of my heros ofthe faith and someone I really relate to and look up to
[19:55] but when God showed up...
[19:56] well, I got so lost in God's goodness that I totally forgot about Moses
[19:56] and the glory of the Lord saturated me
[19:56] and it ws amazing
[19:56] He spoke to me about a lot of things, but the gist of the coversation is that He is actually much easier to please than we tend to think He is
[19:57] all we have to do is come before HIm with pure hearts, hungry for Him
[19:57] we don't have to be perfected yet, just yeilded and willing to cooperate with HIm
[19:57] amen
[19:57] * warriorintheSpirit (JavaUser@66-112-81-130.dyn.centurytel.net) has joined #prophetic-school
[19:57] * Kathe is now known as Kathe_afk
[19:57] God's glory saturated me
[19:57] yes, amen
[19:57] and it was ovewhelmeing beyond words
[19:57] \o/
[19:57] At one point He showed me this pearl
[19:57] \o/
[19:57] it gistened and glimmered and radiated His glory
[19:58] and I knew it was the pearl of great price
[19:58] and God asked me if I would like to have it
[19:58] of course, I said yes
[19:58] Instead of handing it to me, he began to place it on my forehead.
[19:58] I was surprised, because I expected Him to put it in my hand
[19:58] I did not say a word--but I did not have to because God hears our thoughts
[19:59] so He asked me, WOuld you like to hold it?
[19:59] I said yes
[19:59] and He told me to put out my hand and he placed in it my hand
[19:59] and I could feel energy radiating out of the pearl and it seemed to be vibrating
[19:59] the best I can describe it was that it was alive with God's presence and radiated His glory
[19:59] and I stood here holding it and looking at it
[20:00] then God asked me, "Teresa, how will you be able to carry this without loosing it for the rest of your life?"
[20:00] I realized that he meant I might drop it or put it down
[20:00] that it was a wonderful treasure, but there was no way I could go about holding it
[20:00] * warriorintheSpirit (JavaUser@66-112-81-130.dyn.centurytel.net) Quit ( Connection reset by peer )
[20:00] and still living my life
[20:01] then He asked me if I would like Him to take care of it--to attach it to me so I never lost it
[20:01] I said yes.
[20:01] He asked me to hand the pearl back to Him and I did
[20:01] and then He took it and placed it on my forehead
[20:01] and he pushed gently and it went inside of Me
[20:01] \o/
[20:02] and He said that now I would never loose it because He put it where it belonged
[20:02] and the application that God is showing me is that a times we try to hold on to the things of the kingdom that we value
[20:02] --- ministries, relationships, possessions, anointings, etc
[20:02] but we are not capable of carrying them
[20:03] we are not capable of being in charge of them
[20:03] * Davidicdancer (JavaUser@pool-71-123-6-84.austtx.dsl-w.verizon.net) has joined #prophetic-school
[20:03] the only way to keep them is to put them back in God's hands and let Him
[20:03] be in charge of them
[20:03] The vision went on
[20:03] I won't bore you with all the details
[20:03] but near the end of the vision I was aware of Moses watched me with pleased interest
[20:04] and I felt bad that I'd ignored him to pay attention to God
[20:04] and Moses told me that was the way it was supposed to be
[20:04] o/ tag
[20:04] and then he asked me if I undestood his answer to my question
[20:04] * derek (JavaUser@OV2-109.aircanopy.net) has joined #prophetic-school
[20:04] I had to think back and concentrate to figure out what the origial question had been
[20:05] It had been how to trust God in ministry when so many things go wrong as you lead
[20:05] and then he better explained the answer
[20:05] the key to trusting God is being in His presence and being staturated by im
[20:05] Him
[20:05] It is getting to know HIm so well that it is no longer a "mental" thing to trust God but an experiencial one
[20:06] when you expereince God's faithfulness enough times, it becomes engrained in you that He is faithful
[20:06] amen
[20:06] and then it is easy to trust Him
[20:06] yes
[20:06] <@hugsfromtheMASTER> \o/
[20:06] yes
[20:06] \o/

This one is my favorite. What makes it my favorite? Allow me to summarize. This woman is next to Jehovah and she's hungry for him, to be saturated by him, and Jehovah, well, he has this throbbing pearl of power, and the woman really wants it, so Jehovah sticks it in her and she's filled with glory even twenty minutes after it was over. I see!

But, again, the actual message is . . . I mean, the message is that the Christian god doesn't care if you're not perfect, you've just got to accept Jesus, and then everything will be fine. The fairly intense sexual innuendo aside, the message is cut straight from the Bible and traditional Christian wisdom.

Indeed, all the messages were very normal, very traditional things that Christians say to each other. Biblical prophets, on the other hand, often are disbelieved and suffer because of their prophesy, because what they're saying are highly controversial things. This is quite the opposite of controversial. It's the lowest common denominator. What Christian is going to say that Jesus doesn't call people to ministry or that the Christian god is willing to forgive people who go to him?

I can also fairly confidentially call the guy who sent it to me full of shit, now, too. This is his miracle? I would say it's just a tawdry trick, but there isn't even a trick to it. It's just people writing Christian platitudes, and writing them poorly, at that. This is not a miracle. I could easily produce one of these prophesies -- and, indeed, produce a far superior one. I think I shall:

I was standing at the foot of a path that lead up a great hill, and I felt the presence of the Lord behind me. I was with my brother, but I knew that he wanted to do me some wrong. Lightning struck a tree atop the hill, and a ball of flame descended upon me, but a sheet of rain fell and the fire went around me and I was not touched, for I did not fear because the Lord was with me. My brother was consumed by the flames, because he had not trusted in the Lord, and the Lord was not with him. And the Lord lead me up the hill, and on the other side was paradise. Those who trust in the Lord will be saved, those who are not will surely be cast into flames.


I think I'm ready for the big time!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

As I was reading that last part, I was thinking "wow, this is sexy!" The verbal masturbation of the religious!

Too bad it was boring :) Even getting "saturated" with "god's glory" wasn't enough to arouse my desire for religion.

Maybe if they had pics of it.....

I like yours the best, Chris! Now THAT was definately more stirring imagery.

Too bad that place was so dull :( Thanks for taking one for the team and bringing us the info. Now we all know what we're not missing! :)

Anonymous said...

This sounds like a free-writting exercise, huh?

From my experience in the Pentecostal denomination most prophesys are pretty much the benign...& like what's illustrated in this post.(alot of emotion but benign in content)
I always wondered what would happen if someone stood up & said something really earthshattering. But they never do.
In the Pentecostal church's I was familiar with, we had speaking in tongues & interpretation...most ministers are able by Church politics to restrict the weirdness to the sermon at hand. It's a slight of hand trick, really.

& Yeah, the persecution complex element is always there! (think of our conversation about Nietzsche & master and slave moralities?)

& the sex element? I've always thought of it as mutual masturbation, myself.

Unknown said...

Chi,

Yeah, it was so disappointing! I was hoping for this really . . . I mean, I wanted more than I got. It was sorta like I'd imagined but not nearly as cool. I wanted real hellfire and damnation stuff. I wanted souls roasting over coals and people sizzling in oil! I wanted filthy dragons and whores! What I got was pretty lame, hehe. I could do a MUCH better job of it.

Unknown said...

L>T,

Hehe, I'm sorta jealous of your experience with the Pentacostalists. Or, at least in the sense that it would be good for my writing if I'd seen that sort of thing up close and personal.

But, on reflection, it doesn't surprise me that "prophesy" is pretty shallow stuff. When a person says something controversial there's a controversy, hehe. Few religions would keep a controversial figure around. Religious folks, largely, want confirmation of what they believe, not refutation of their beliefs -- that's heresy or whatever. Still, it was disappointing!

And, yeah, Christians have got a full dose of the persecution complex. I'm in an email conversation today with a fella -- a middle-class white man -- who has brought up the "persecution" of Christians by us atheists. It has me rolling my eyes. I can sorta see where Nietzsche was coming from. He's, like, "Christians are the most powerful people in the world and believe the universe is persecuting them, despite their obvious power! That's fucked up! There's gotta be some deep reason for it!" I don't much agree where he went with it, but I can see how he got there. ;)

But . . . how strong is the sexual innuendo at the things you've seen? Is it commonplace?

Anonymous said...

L>T here,
when I was struggling with all this in the church as an adult. I didn't do any of the real crazy filled with the Holy spirit. I was pretty replused by it by then. I figured I could be a Christian w/out doing that, even a Pentecostal. There are different degrees of this insanity anyway.
My mother always went to crazy fall down(slain on the spirit)visions(hallucinations)casting out demons(this was big when the book the Excorcist came out)one step away from snake-handling churches.
The Assembly of God (big corporation) Church, hubby & I went to is geared for middle class Americans, the Holy Spirit filled concept is the same, but The Ass. of God tones it down.

I got the masterbation idea from how the holy spirit thing is built up in a service or any gathering where "He" is invited. the emotion(the creepiness you prob. felt) is palpable. I've seen unchurched people flee from it.

Anyway, the whole thing builds into a real orgasmic like experience for these people. that's the only way to describe it.
Prayer circles. The adult ones anyway are pretty sweaty affairs.
In real life Pentecostal experience there is a strong personality thing going on. I can tell you more if you want...

Anonymous said...

sorry it's "slain in the spirit" not on.

I've thought about this stuff alot being embroiled in it (or boiled in it) a large part of my life. It's very hard for children to navigate this particular snotgreen sea.